Saturday - November 10, 2012
Laurie's funeral was on November 10th, her birthday. Her funeral was so hard to be at. I cried so much. I ended up riding there with the Deakin's and Cathy Crump. It was good to go with friends. That makes it a little easier. When we got there, I was doing okay. I thought I had my emotions under control. The viewing was first. I was impressed by how well her husband, Thom, and her mom were doing. I was glad that they weren't crying because I thought that that would make it easier for me not to cry. As soon as I opened my mouth to talk to Thom, I burst into tears. And then, of course, he started to cry. I got my crying under control just in time to talk to her mom. I did the same thing with her mom. I just burst into tears. We just hugged and cried. I felt bad for losing it like that. I could hardly talk, I was crying so much. Laurie's mom started comforting me. She said, "I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, Jenny." I felt bad that she felt like she needed to comfort me when I should have been the one there comforting her.
Laurie's funeral was on November 10th, her birthday. Her funeral was so hard to be at. I cried so much. I ended up riding there with the Deakin's and Cathy Crump. It was good to go with friends. That makes it a little easier. When we got there, I was doing okay. I thought I had my emotions under control. The viewing was first. I was impressed by how well her husband, Thom, and her mom were doing. I was glad that they weren't crying because I thought that that would make it easier for me not to cry. As soon as I opened my mouth to talk to Thom, I burst into tears. And then, of course, he started to cry. I got my crying under control just in time to talk to her mom. I did the same thing with her mom. I just burst into tears. We just hugged and cried. I felt bad for losing it like that. I could hardly talk, I was crying so much. Laurie's mom started comforting me. She said, "I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, Jenny." I felt bad that she felt like she needed to comfort me when I should have been the one there comforting her.
The talks given at her funeral were really good. It was fun to get to meet and hear from Laurie's family and friends that I didn't know.
I do not like funerals. I just don't handle them well. I just cannot get my crying under control.
I'm glad that it is over with and I can focus on feeling normal again.
I forgot to write about an experience that happened a few days after she passed away. I was having a really hard time dealing with her death. I was sick to my stomach every time I thought about it and I couldn't stop thinking about it. I couldn't sleep at night and just couldn't feel happy at all during the day. Well.... One morning after she had passed away, Alissa woke me up. she was in her room and started yelling for me. She said that she was scared and needed me to come talk to her. I got out of bed and went to talk to her. She said she was scared because she saw a ghost walk into my bedroom and go towards me. She said it was a white figure. I hadn't seen anything, but after she told me that, I realized that I actually felt normal. I wasn't sick to my stomach anymore and I felt happier. I know this might sound silly, but I think that Laurie came to visit me and somehow let my spirit know that she was okay and that everything would be okay. I still felt sad when I thought about it and I cried my eyes out at her funeral, but I was able to be happy again and my thoughts weren't consumed by it anymore.
Sunday - November 11, 2012
Parker had a brilliant idea for a hat and he insisted that I take a picture of him wearing it.
Sunday - November 11, 2012
Parker had a brilliant idea for a hat and he insisted that I take a picture of him wearing it.
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