Playing in the snow and My craziness - February 21, 2011

Monday - February 21st
Here are the pictures I took yesterday when the kids went out in the snow for a little while.  We love playing in the snow.

 Since there was no school today, the kids chose not to get dressed. I think they are so funny outside playing in the snow in their pajamas. Alissa and Parker have been playing outside a lot today. They are really sad that they have to go to school tomorrow.
This is the funny little thing they made. At first they said they were going to make a castle, so I'm going to say that this is their castle.

After I took pictures of Alissa and Parker's creation, Alissa told me that I needed to come out with the video camera so she could show me something. She showed the video camera their creation, then she showed the video camera how to destroy their creation. I wasn't expecting that at all. She had a lot of fun kicking it down.

These are two turtles that they went out and made yesterday. They were so afraid that the sun was going to melt their turtles, but it didn't yet.

Brinley prefers to be inside when it's cold. she go out every once in a while, but she never stays out very long. this is a cute picture of her playing the Nintendo Wii. I love Brinley's smile.

So, I have been rearranging my house a lot lately. I'm not even sure what it is that I'm trying to accomplish. I've always rearranged one or two rooms in my house every three to six months. That's just what I do. I've been doing that all my life. Before I got married and moved out, I would rearrange my bedroom or trade rooms with a sister. I guess I just get bored. I don't understand it. But since October, I have rearranged my living room 6 times! Two of those times, I traded rooms. I moved all of my downstairs living room furniture upstairs and the upstairs living room furniture downstairs, then I moved them back. Yesterday, I rearranged the living room again. Today, I started rearranging the kids' bedrooms. I managed to drop a bed on my foot and it hurt really bad, so I'm taking a break for the rest of the day and I will finish up tomorrow.

I'll be sitting in the living room or somewhere and it will come to me, how the room can look so much better or an idea will come to me and I'll wonder what it would look like if I did this or that, then I just can't get it off of my mind until I do it. Do you think I'm obsessive compulsive? And why have I been doing this more than usual lately? I'm just trying to figure myself out.

I was really sick starting in October until December. I'd just get over one sickness and another one would start. I was also having a lot of pain in my lower abdomen. I went to a doctor and he said that I had a large fibroid in my uterus and he wanted to do an operation to remove it. I am more afraid than I used to be to have a surgery, so I kept putting it off. I kept thinking that somehow maybe the fibroid was causing my immune system to be weak and that's why I was sick all the time.  In January, I finally started to feel better and I got up the courage to go to the doctor to schedule the surgery. I went to a different doctor this time. I was scared about the surgery but excited.  The reason I scheduled with a different doctor, is because the other doctor had experience in doing the tubal reversal surgery.  I was planning to ask him to do the tubal reversal since he was going to have me opened up anyway.  I figured it was a way to make the surgery more affordable.  I've been wanting to have a tubal reversal ever since I made that horrible decision to have it done, but there is no way we can afford it.  So, even though I was scared about the surgery, my mood had changed a lot and I was starting to feel happy again at the possibility of being able to have more children.

Anyway, I went to the appointment, he did an ultra sound and didn't see any fibroid that was big enough to operate on. It is the craziest thing! How could I have been in so much pain in October thru December, then in January start feeling much better and the doctor doesn't see a problem anymore? I was talking to Missy about it and she said that in one of the books she read that when your grieving it weakens your immune system and a lot of people get sick after the loss of a loved one. We all got colds after my mom passed away and my grandma got pneumonia. So I wonder if some how all of those crazy symptoms and my weakened immune system was due to grief. Because I was sick and miserable during the time that the year before I had lost my mom. I don't know. I felt like I was handling things just fine. I had one or two sad days around the anniversary of her passing, but really, I thought I was doing pretty well.  But, I've been sad about my tubes being tied.  I wonder if the fibroid getting better had something to do with my happiness about being able to get a tubal reversal.

Anyways, that was just crazy and weird.

Another crazy and weird thing happened yesterday. I woke up and just started crying. I was replaying everything that went on when my mom passed away in my mind. I could not stop crying. We have church at 8:30 in the morning and I couldn't stop crying to go to church. I had to call and tell my friend, through my tears, that I wouldn't be there. I just spent the morning laying in my bed crying. The kids didn't really know how to handle it. They felt bad so they made little cards for me to try and cheer me up. I felt so bad, that I couldn't control my emotions. I don't like to cry in front of the kids because I know it upsets them. I finally stopped crying and felt like I was handling things better, until Linda called to check on me and I just lost it again. It really helped to talk to her, but then I had a hard time calming down again. I haven't cried like that since the week when she passed away. It was so crazy to me, because it felt like my being upset and crying just came out of nowhere. I was feeling just fine. I think what might have started it was the realization that it was my parents anniversary yesterday. I also wondered if my toothache and my constant head ache that goes with it and the fear of having my first root canal tomorrow are also making me an emotional wreck.

I just don't know what is going on with me lately. I've also lost all desire for cake decorating. I used to love that, I don't really know what it is, but I just don't like it any more. I turned down four people that asked me to do wedding cakes this year. Seriously, I don't feel like I'm a crazy person, but I'm just not myself lately. I just don't understand it. That's all.

Blanket Tent - February 19, 2011

Saturday - February 19th
This is what the kids did today. They made their room into a giant tent. They wanted to sleep with it this way. I told them they could if they want, but they might get cold, because all of the blankets are up high and not laying on top of them. If we owned more blankets they would have had lots of fun. they decided not to sleep with it that way, because they like to have blankets on top of them while they sleep.

Taking Apart Our Broken Space Heater - February 18, 2011

Friday - February 11, 2018
I had really weird dreams last night. At least I think they were dreams. Parker woke up around midnight and couldn't get back to sleep because his tooth was hurting. He has his back teeth coming in and it doesn't feel good. So I fell asleep and I'm pretty sure I was dreaming. I was dreaming that I was laying in bed and my legs and arms started to feel really funny (kind of like when your foot or something falls asleep and you move it to get it to wake up. It was a tingling kind of weird feeling like that). I was really uncomfortable and frustrated that I couldn't get my arms and legs to move like I wanted them too. Then Parker woke me up. the dream seemed like it was real, because I was laying in bed, but when Parker yelled for me, I didn't have any problems walking or getting out of bed. After that, I had a hard time getting back to sleep. As soon as I would start to dose off, Parker would yell for me again. I finally fell asleep around 2:30am and then I woke up at 5:00am with Roger, so I didn't get a lot of sleep last night at all. So right now, I've had very little sleep, I have a tooth ache, and a head ache (caused by the tooth ache). I'm pretty fussy today. I was also fussy yesterday for pretty much the same reasons.

Good Times! I can't wait for my dentist appointment on Tuesday.

Yesterday was a rough day.

I'm pretty sure that a cute little boy that I babysit has autism. His parents are just started to make appointments for him, to figure out if something is wrong. I don't know because I'm not an expert, he just reminds me a lot of other children that I know who have autism. For some reason, he was really fussy yesterday and there was nothing I could do to get him to calm down. When he plays with any kind of toy (he likes balls or opening and shutting doors on things) and things don't go exactly how he imagines that it should, he sits and screams. That was happening a lot yesterday. He kept rolling a ball down the stairs and it wouldn't land or go where he thought it would go. That makes him so mad!

Also, one of the parents that I tend for texted me a message asking "Did you ever find out what Alissa had?" I texted back that I didn't remember Alissa having anything. She replied that one day,last week, I had told her that Alissa woke Roger up with her coughing in the night. I replied, "Oh yeah. Alissa is fine she just had a cough for one or two nights, that was it." She responded that the reason she was asking is because now they are sick. Maybe it is just lack of sleep and this head ache, but the way she was hinting that we are the reason she is sick and she wants to know what we gave her, really irritated me! Why must people do that! What is the point of blaming someone for your sickness? does it really make you feel better to let someone know that you think they are the reason you are sick? Why? I would never purposefully get someone sick. I just think that it is stupid to place blame for something like that!

Yesterday, Parker was bored. He came up to me and said, "I have nobody to play with." I told him he could go rough house with his dad. He always thinks that is fun. But he said "no." Then Roger suggested that Parker could take apart our old broken heater. You should have seen Parker's eyes light up! He was so excited! Roger gave him some tools and he got right to work.

While Parker was downstairs taking apart the heater, Brinley and her friend, Mikenna, were in the living room playing some funny game that they made up. Before Parker had gotten bored he had built a tent in the living room and made the slide be the way to get into his tent. They are cute kids. It's fun to listen to them play. they come up with the funniest things.

When Alissa got home from her friends house, she saw what Parker was doing and was so excited to join in the fun. It was really funny how excited they got over this. every time they got a part out of it, Parker came running upstairs to show me what they had done.

 We are cat sitting for Roger's brother. Roger does not like cats. This cat loves Roger. I was worried about cat sitting, because I know how much Roger hates cats and I thought that he would be really fussy about everything and anything the cat does.

Cat sitting is going nothing like I thought it would. This cat loves Roger and doesn't care much for me. The cat follows Roger everywhere. I think it is so funny! 

Mikenna went home and Brinley wanted to help also.

The moon was really pretty tonight.  I tried to get a good picture of it, but I was unsuccessful. You can still see that it was beautiful from my attempts to take a good picture.  Enjoy!

Blanket Tent - February 10, 2011

Thursday - February 10th

Brinley and I made a tent out of blankets while Parker and Alissa were at school today.

Babysitting - February 7, 2011

Monday - February 7th

Parker asked if he could take some pictures with my camera.  These are the pictures he got.  We just had a busy day of babysitting.  We babysat Conner and Sage.

Making a ghost Video - February 5, 2011

Saturday - February 5, 2011

My niece, Missy came for a visit.  While she was here, I learned how to make a ghost video on my movie making program.  So we set up to make a ghost video.  In the our movie, Alissa will be jumping on the couch and playing around.  Then she will fall off.  She lays on the ground like she is dead.  I use the ghost technique to make it look like she come out of her body.  She is surprised to see her body laying on the ground.  She runs over to Parker and Brinley, who are having a tea party, and tries to get their attention, but they can't hear her because she is a ghost.  Then she acts like she is being pulled back to her body.  She lays back down and then wakes up.  It's like she died and then came back to life.  It was a cool video.  It took a long time for me to put it together.  I no longer have that video due to my old computer breaking and losing it.  I'll have to make a new ghost video.  I forgot about that.  We had a lot of fun making ghost videos.

This is Brinley and her friend, Sage.