Tuesday - May 10th
I've been super panicky lately about my health. Ever since my friend, Laurie, passed away, I've been even more worried at the possibility of dying at a young age. I really don't want to die yet. I want to be here for my kiddos as long as I possibly can. In February my friend, Lori, passed away from breast cancer. So, I have been really worried and freaking myself out a bit about my health. I keep imagine that I feel a lump or something. I finally decided to just go to the doctor and get everything checked. Dr. Wilding was very nice to sit and listen to all my worries. He did a good job at helping me calm down. He checked everything and scheduled me for a mammogram, so that I could have peace of mind in that area also. One funny thing from my appointment was that my blood pressure (that has always been normal when tested) was a little high this time. The doctor was pretty sure it was because I was freaking out so much. I just thought it was funny. Anyway, so I left the appointment feeling a lot better than when I had first gone in. My mammogram was scheduled for the following day. I wasn't looking forward to getting it done, but I was excited to have some peace of mind.
The appointment went well. The technician said that everything looked okay. She explained that everybody's breast are different, like a fingerprint. So, a lot of times, there will be something unusual that the doctor will need to take a closer look at, just to make sure it is nothing bad. She told me not to panic. It all looks good, but the doctor might call me back for more testing. Then she handed me a paper as I left the office. When I got in the car, I read the paper. It read, "So you had an abnormal mammogram. Don't panic". It was really hard for me not to panic after I read the top portion of that pamphlet. I just kept repeating to myself, "Don't panic. Don't panic." It was really hard to keep calm. The technician called me a day or two later and said there was something odd in my left breast and the doctor would like me to come in for more testing.
My appointment was today.
This morning, I did yard work. I weeded and cleaned up the corner with the fire pit. I did it to keep extra busy, to help me not worry about my doctor appointment today. The appointment wasn't fun. They did another mammogram and then an ultrasound on my breast. I survived the appointment, though. The doctor said that it is just a cist and nothing to worry about. No more mammograms until I turn 40. I'm so happy it was nothing and now I finally have a little peace of mind. I was probably making myself a little sick with all of the worrying I was doing over my health. I'm glad that everything was fine. Hopefully I won't start to panic and freak out like that again. It is just really hard when you have 2 friends, close to your age, pass away. It really throws me off. It just feels so wrong for somebody my age to die. I don't like it.
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