Sunday - January 6th
We woke up to a lot of snow. We've had very little snow this winter. Yesterday, there was no snow on the ground. Just a few patches on the grass where the sun doesn't shine.
I was so happy to see so much snow this morning. I feel like it was a gift from my mom on her birthday. I don't know how that works or if that could be true. That's just the thought I had. The snow made me happy on a day when I usually feel sad about my mom's passing. I miss her soooooo much!
Parker and I got ready and went out to play and shovel. When we went out, Daemion and his dad were out helping everybody shovel their driveways. They were at our neighbor's, then they headed to our house. Our neighbor came over shortly after. It was very awkward. I was trying to shovel the snow into a sledding hill. I told them what I was doing and they joined in on getting the snow to where I wanted my hill. Daemion's dad kept getting after Parker to get a shovel and start shoveling. Parker ignored him, which made him get after Parker more. He was also getting after Daemion. Anytime he stopped or sat down, he would get after him.
Then Parker grabbed the snow board we got from Linda. He set it on the ice in the driveway and tried to slide on it. Daemion's dad got after Parker for ruining the snow board. It was really awkward to have somebody at my house trying to parent my child in front of me. It was weird. I didn't care that Parker wasn't helping. He came out with the plan to play on the snowboard and help smooth out the sledding hill. I came out with the plan to shovel. We were both okay with that plan, but apparently our neighbor wasn't. I went over and whispered to Parker that maybe to appease Daemion's dad, he should be nice and just help with the shoveling. Parker's stubborn. If I had asked him to help me shovel and let him know that's what he would be doing before we went out, then he would have helped. It's hard for him to change plans willy nilly. After I talked to him, he went in the backyard, so Daemion's dad wouldn't get after him anymore. while he was back there, he started making a sledding hill by the trampoline and he dug out the doorway to the shed. So, that was nice.
When our neighbor came over, she was fussy about shoveling. I heard her complaining a few times about how she is tired and doesn't want to do this.
I was happy to be out in the snow and happy to be shoveling and I really wouldn't have minded shoveling on my own. Their bad moods were not fun to be around. It just reminded me of how much I don't want to be like that. I like to be happy and have fun. I'm never going to be a serious parent. I'm never going to live up to other people's standards of parenting, so I'm not going to bother trying. I will parent the way I want and the way that feels right to me. I am so over trying to fit in and be what I think people would want me to be. I never want to live like that again. Luckily, I was never as extreme in doing that as some people I've seen. I'm just not normal, and I'm okay with that. I'm finally ready to stop being embarrassed by myself and just embrace my crazy weirdness. I'm not a serious person. I like things to be fun, bright, and happy. I don't enjoy when things are too serious. There are time when being serious is necessary and I'll be serious when those times come, but that's it. I just keep seeing other parents and people around me doing things and behaving in ways that are purely for the purpose of keeping up appearances. The way one of my neighbor's talks to her kids when she's outside and the way she talks to and tries to parent other's kids, feels so fake to me. I don't know how she is in her own home, but I feel like she tries way to hard when she's outside of the home. She is way too focused on being the perfect parent, that she probably never has fun.
I just want to be happy and have fun and love my kids and family. It's not fun to spend so much time getting after them. That takes a lot of energy and most of the time it's unnecessary.
I'm not sure if any of what I wrote makes a lot of sense. I'm having a hard time explaining what it is that I'm feeling. It was just a weird morning with those parents. I had fun in the snow, though. I'm just going to have fun and except the fact that I am different. I'm not like most parents and I have no desire to be like most parents.
After our driveway was shoveled, the other 2 parents went on unhappily shoveling all of the driveways on the street. I think that was nice of them, it was just awkward for me. I really didn't want to be near them, so I went in the backyard to work on a snow hill back there. That way we had our hill in the front yard to play on with neighbor's and a hill in the backyard to play on when we don't want lots of kiddos over.
After we shoveled, I wanted to relax, so I sat down and finished the puzzle I had started. It was a nice relaxing day from that point on. I still needed to finish my video for my vlog. I went up to my room to do that. I recorded myself sharing some interesting stories from my youth. I only posted one of the stories on my vlog, since the other one would make my vlog too long. I told the story of watching my neighbor's house get robbed and waving hi to the bad guys as they carried stuff out. In 2014 the kiddos told that story and made a reenactment video of it. I added that to our vlog also. Here is our vlog for the day
And here are the pictures I took.
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