Sunday - November 9, 2014
Alissa has started sewing at school. she is loving it. This was her first project. I'm so jealous of the cool sewing machine that she gets to use. I wish I had a sewing machine that could do all of that. Parker couldn't just stand back and let Alissa be in the picture by herself. He's just funny like that. Also, here is another picture of our new chair. I'm just so happy to not have to sit in that horrible awful old computer chair.
So, 5 years ago, today, is the day my mom passed away. It is so crazy that it has been 5 years. I miss her so much. the hurt and longing for her never goes away. You just learn to deal with it and you learn to live without her. You learn how to take care of the things you relied on her for. It is just so sad to have to do that. I wish she could still be here with us. I did pretty good today. I was happy and I didn't cry all day. I did my best not to think about it. At the end of the day, as I put the kids to bed, it started to hit me. I read stories to the kids until Parker and Brinley were asleep. After they fell asleep, Alissa asked if me and her could just talk for a little bit before she went to bed. We ended up talking about my mom and of course, I started to cry. I was telling Alissa about how much I loved to talk to my mom. I loved our phone conversations. I just really miss talking to her. Then Alissa pointed out that I have her to talk to know. I realized how much I love talking to Alissa and what a blessing that is. Then I thought about the friendship I had with my mom and now the friendship that I have with Alissa. All of that made me burst into tears. I'm so happy to have my Alissa to talk with. I am so blessed to have such wonderful children that take such good care of me and suddenly become so grown up when I'm having a hard time and I need them.
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