Saturday - May 30th
The weather is so nice and warm today and it is not a school day. It feels like summer and we are loving it. It is going to be really hard to get the kids to school on Monday. They only have one more week left until summer break! We have had stormy, cold weather for most of May, so we have missed the sun a lot. We were very happy to hear that the weather was finally going to be warm this weekend. I really wanted to set up our little pool and swim, but I was worried about our neighbors in #1 coming out to join us. they came over last time and they played really rough. By the time everything was said and done, it felt like things were a mess and the pool had a small hole in it. I really didn't want to set up the pool if they were going to be here. They were here in the morning, but ended up leaving to spend the day with their grandparents right around the time I decided to set up the pool, so that was nice.
Alissa had a sleepover last night with her friends, Sydney and Malaiyah. They stayed up until 4:00am. They were watching scary shows. They all had a lot of fun, but didn't get much sleep, so we spend the first half of the day relaxing, napping, and recovering from the sleepover.
Brinley got a really bad sunburn.
Roger is having a good time helping out the Sheriff. He said that he is taking lots of pictures and there are a lot of really cool places to see and explore. He told me about a hidden cabin that they went to today. He said it was really creepy. I'm excited for him to come home so I can see his pictures.
We released our trapped emotions today. Brinley had the emotion of Failure. Parker had the emotion of despair, anger, and frustration. He still has some trapped emotions in his heart wall, but his body needed to recover from what we released. We will try again tomorrow. Alissa had the trapped emotions of anxiety, forlorn, and love unreceived. Alissa said she felt a lot better after we did that. She has been complaining a lot lately about not feeling like herself anymore. After we released those emotions, she said she felt like herself again and she was very happy about that.
I didn't have any trapped emotions, but I have a heart wall. I haven't released anything from my heart wall yet, because I was busy with the kids.
I am always very skeptical about stuff like this, but I know with out a doubt how much our emotions can affect our health. I suffered from really bad headaches for 4 years. People kept suggesting that they were caused by stress. I didn't really think I was feeling stressed when it happened, so I didn't agree with that. but I wondered if maybe I was feeling stressed deep down and didn't really realize it. I kept trying to figure out what the problem was and I kept telling myself that I was stressed and reminding myself not to feel stress. Things didn't change and I was getting really frustrated not knowing why it was happening. The most frustrating thing was that I always got a headache when we would go to Salt Lake or anywhere out of town and visit friends or family. I would miss out on having a good time, because I was dealing with an annoying headache and still trying to take care of the kids (which, in an environment that isn't home, is always much more difficult).
One night, after a family get together, we were making the long drive back to Tremonton. My headache was almost unbearable at this point. I was complaining to Roger about how painful it was and how mad it makes me that I keep getting these headaches. While I was venting to him, an idea came to his mind. He looked at me and said, "I think you are causing your headaches." I was like, "What!?" He explained that maybe I was causing them and my anger was making them worse and worse. I got really mad at him for saying that. I was like, "Why would I be causing my own headaches? That makes no sense! I hate having these headaches! I wouldn't do that to myself!" I was really furious at him for even suggesting something so ridiculous. After that, he didn't bring it up again. A few months after that incident, we went to Montana for our summer vacation. I love being in Montana and I really hoped that I wouldn't get any headaches and have some of my vacation days be ruined. These headaches were so bad, that I had to just go straight to bed. I couldn't function with them and medicine didn't seem to be able to get rid of them all the way. So, we are about an hour and a half away from reaching Grandma Mathison's house. I'm feeling really happy and excited to start our vacation and I'm just staring out the window, enjoying the scenery when Roger tells me that he is too tired to keep driving. He had been driving the whole way up to this point. He tells me that he needs me to take over and drive the rest of the way. I was not happy about that, but I knew he was tired, so we traded places. Now, I'm the one driving. The scenery and everything around us is still beautiful, but I'm not noticing it anymore. I'm angry that I have to drive. I really hate to drive on the 2-lane highway. It is so frustrating because sometimes you come up behind a really slow driver and you have to pass them. I really don't like to pass other cars on 2-lane highways. I'm terrified that we will get in a car accident because I judged things wrong and we have a head on collision with another car. Anyway, so I start driving and as we are going I realize, I'm starting to get a headache. This makes me mad. I start thinking about how my whole night will be ruined now. I will hardly get to spend anytime talking to Grandma because my head will be hurting so bad, that I will just need to go to bed as soon as possible. With the kids being away from home, I knew it was going to take a long time to get them to sleep, so I would have to suffer with my headache even longer.
So, as I was driving and my headache was getting worse and worse, the conversation Roger and I had had came to my mind and I thought, "Could I really be causing my headaches?" I started thinking about it. I was feeling fine all day, but as soon as I got fussy because I had to drive the headache started coming on. Then I thought about all that I had been thinking about ever since I started driving. I had been thinking lots of angry thoughts. I was angry that I had to drive, angry that Roger "conveniently" got tired shortly after we got to the 2-lane highway, angry that now I couldn't enjoy the scenery, angry that he fell asleep and now I had to drive and be the one to break up any fights the kids might be having, angry that now I was getting a headache and my whole night was going to be ruined. I spent a lot of time playing out in my mind what a horrible evening it was going to be and feeling like, "Poor me. Why does this always happen to me?"
So, it clicked in my brain that maybe it was me and all those crazy angry thoughts might be causing my headaches. So, I decided to experiment. I quit thinking angry thoughts and only allowed myself to think and say positive things. I reminded myself how lucky I was to be able to go spend time in Montana and how much I love my life and my family. I pretty much just spent the rest of the drive counting my many blessings and feeling so happy and grateful for all that I have. After a very short while of positive thinking, my headache had gone away completely. I was so surprised! I was shocked to realize that I had been causing my headaches all along. I really couldn't believe it. I had never been able to get rid of a headache once it started without taking a really long nap or going to sleep for the night. No medicine had ever been able to get rid of my headache completely. I felt so empowered to know that I could get rid of my headaches just like that, by changing the way I was thinking. I also felt bad for getting so mad at Roger when he had suggested that I could be causing my own pain. I knew he would be happy for me though, when I told him about what I just discovered. After that, I experienced a few headaches. Non of them as bad as the ones I used to get. I would still get some small headaches. for some reason, I wouldn't always be able to think them away, but I could think positive enough so they weren't as bad. I don't know exactly why I couldn't always get them to go away completely. It's been almost 2 years since I discovered how to not have my headaches anymore. The first 6 months or so after realizing that, I had to stay really focused on keeping my thoughts positive to keep the headaches away and I would still get small ones, but after a while, I didn't struggle at all and I never get headaches anymore.
I didn't mean to spend so much time sharing that story. I just think it's amazing how much our emotions control our physical health.
I really love the stuff that I have learned in reading this book, 'The Emotion Code". It makes a lot of sense to me. In the book, they describe a way to find trapped emotions and how to get rid of them. As I was reading about the ways to get rid of them, I realized that there is another way to get rid of them. I don't think we really need to go through the whole process (It's not a big process - just finding the emotion and rolling a magnet down your back and thinking it away) described in the book to get rid of those emotions. I believe that we can just pray them away. When I asked my subconscious mind, it said I didn't have any trapped emotions. It brought back a memory to my mind. In the spring of 2011, I was feeling really depressed. More than I had ever felt before. I had been offered depression medicine by doctors before, but I always turned it down. I was finally to the point where I felt bad enough that I was ready to try the depression medicine. I was just really tired of feeling that way. I didn't feel like myself and I was especially bothered about my weight and how ugly I had thought I had become. I felt like most of my sadness came from dealing with my weight. In my mind, I knew that if I could lose this stupid weight I would feel like my old self and be happy again. I had never prayed and asked Heavenly Father for help with my weight issue, because I was sure he would have an answer I didn't want to hear. I didn't want to lose weight the healthy way. I wanted an unhealthy, quick fix. I had failed at quite a few of those diets. Anyway, I decided I would try one last thing before starting the depression medication. I decided I would finally pray and asked Heavenly Father for help with my depression and especially with my weight loss. I finished my pray and the answer came to me almost immediately. It was a very simple answer. The message I got was, "Read your scriptures." I remember thinking, "Really? That's it? I don't know how that's going to help me lose weight, but okay Heavenly Father, I will do that." I went straight to the living room and sat down to read my scriptures. I din't end up reading anything that I felt was a message to me to help me lose weight or anything like that (I had kind of thought that's what would have happened), but what happened was kind of amazing to me. I finished reading and set the scriptures down. I immediately noticed a difference. All of the sudden, I finally felt like myself again. I felt so happy and my weight was no longer an issue in my mind. I didn't feel that overwhelming need to lose weight so that I could be pretty and fit in and feel happy about my appearance. That didn't matter to me anymore. I was just happy with myself. It was such a nice feeling. I was so surprised by the answer I got and how that all worked.
As I was reading this book about trapped emotions, it occurred to me that I bet I had had some trapped emotions back then, but I was able to get rid of those yucky feelings all with the help of Heavenly Father.
I love learning about our bodies energy and the energy all around us, but I think people get a little thrown off track when it comes to ways to deal with this stuff. I feel like we don't need to do any of these crazy rituals to fix our issues or problems. I think it is helpful to learn and know about these things, but I think people get off track when they quit relying on Heavenly Father for help with things. Slowly people start to feel like they can do it all on their own. I had talked to the kids about the book I had been reading and they all wanted to try it out. Before we tried it, we said a pray and asked Heavenly Father for guidance. The feeling that I got during this prayer was that it would work, but we could just as easily say a pray and accomplish the same thing. We followed the book this time, because the kids were curios and wanted to see how it worked. But from now on, I think we will just pray about it and free ourselves from the yucky emotions with Heavenly father's help.
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